march, a retrospective

March 2014 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Gil baby I love you dearly, please, please, please could you sleep!  I am still up twice a night my dear little boy and then at 5am he’s up for the day.  It’s a killer I tell you.  Lack of sleep makes life grey.  I am less resilient, less excited, less motivated and get grumpy more quickly.  And while I feel like I am swimming in fog this little boy is happy all day.

Thank God Mark is an active parent, if Fox or Poppy wake in the night he will go to them.  Generally it takes a kick or a shove under the covers from me, how does he sleep through their calls I have no idea…..I wish I knew.

My absence from this little space is due to lack of sleep.  I want to keep a record of these days, with my small people, but I’m tired, really tired deep fatigue.   All I want to do in the evenings, once the kids are in bed; after the toys are collected off the floor…or not…after the clothes are folded or not….after the kitchen is clean….or not.  All I want to do is sit still, watch tv, and not think of anything. Doing a little crochet it is meditative, then I want to fall into bed and sleep for days and days.

A little bit of February

Feburary OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAFebruary OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA: : playing
: : new school shoes for a new year
: : a pre school for Poppy
: : tired baby
: : birthday baking – a four year old
: : a visit to hospital in the wee hours – the morning of the above mentioned birthday
: : farewelling friends with a nature walk
: : precious little viking boy – deep love to you Eli
: : a toddler (first steps just before 10 months of age, really walking at 11 months)
: : spot of craft
: : rain
: : toddler toes
: : more rain
: : water baby, loving even more rain

 

 

five babies

Five This post has been in my waiting in as a draft to be posted since late last year, it was a conversation Poppy and I shared during our walk to pick Fox up from school.

Poppy “what is it called when you have two babies in your tummy?”
Me “twins..and do you know what it is called when you have three babies at the same time?”
Poppy “No”
Me “triplets.. .And what if you have four babies?..(slience)…..Quadruplets”
Poppy  “And if you have five it’s called complicated”
Me (laughing) “yes that is exactly what five is!”

quietness

The quietness has been so for a number of reasons, fatigue, feeling stagnant, unhappy living arrangement, a busy end of year, a busy beginning of year, a baby who has never, NEVER slept through the night, preferring to wake twice a night and to start the day around 5.00am…..and just stuff.

A few things had to go and this blog was one.  I have been writing posts in my mind, noting little quotes said by small people.  I had never expected I’d be so quiet for so long.   That is just where life was at.

I had thought about going back for a bit of recap but…..perhaps in photographs…. some of our school holiday doings in JanuaryJanuary happenings OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA JanuaryOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

december


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It’s easy to identify my highlight for 2013 welcoming our beautiful Gil into our family.  It was however also a hard year. The toughest element for me is that the uncertainty about home (and all that it embodies) remains.  We continue to live in this little dark rental, which feels smaller and darker by the day, it isn’t kid friendly nor baby friendly.  And the steps to finding a new home have been slowed and interrupted by other factors, while the market has kept climbing.

December was a tough month.  My birthday came and went uneventfully, not even a cake.  Christmas loomed and I felt like I was running to keep up with the end of the first year of school and three-year old preschool.  There were farewell’s, christmas parties, concerts, more parties.  Somewhere in the midst of the mayhem I forgot about the party food for the last day at Poppy’s preschool, and felt like a failure, irrational I know, probably the culmination of a tough couple of weeks.

December did see lots of creativity by the small people, Christmas tree ornaments made by their own hands – plaster of paris in Christmas chocolate moulds, add a little ribbon before the plaster sets and paint it up.  We made cookies in a jar, (dry ingredients only with instructions for adding the wet ingredients and baking) they received a great deal of praise, so we may just make it again next year.

Fox was beautiful and generous making gifts and gifting some of his own special belongings for his class mates and family members and writing lovely notes to the recipients.  He got so much joy in the making and in thinking of others, such a beautiful quality.

I did manage in December to get a little time to myself and spoilt myself with a pedicure a little bit of bright happiness.  Painted nails have been a rarity in our home, so much so Poppy tried to wipe off the paint and wipe it onto her own toes.   A little bottle of pink polish, and sparkle polish then made its way into her christmas stocking.  Speaking of Christmas and Poppy she once again banned Santa from entering the house, he was welcome to bring gifts but “only the reindeer can bring the presents inside”.

Christmas day was lovely, invited to join my Stepbrother’s family his gorgeous wife Sue cooked and catered beautifully.  It was such a treat to have it all cared for by others and spending the day in easy company, it made for a relaxed family christmas.

It wasn’t until after christmas that I found time for gingerbread making this year – the kids decorated and ate little houses inspired by Tahnee with their Canberra cousins.

52/52 … if a little late

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

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In the post-Christmas bliss..

: : Fox, I wanted to teach you how to play elastics…you wanted to make a cubby with the elastic – it kept caving in but you didn’t mind
: : Poppy, singing and dancing on the table!
: : Gil, everything is pulled out, investigated, touched, chewed or handled in some way by your chubby little hands.  Packed away by older hands and the cycle starts again.

Joining in with Jodi and the 52 project.

50/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

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: : Fox finished kinda! (prep for those of you in Victoria) What a big year.
: : Poppy wearing your handmade princess crown.
: : Gil.  We are all feeling like you…. tired.  Tired because it’s sleep time, tired from a huge year at kinda, tired from living with two busy brothers, tired from being a sleep deprived (at the same time very fortunate) mother of three; little, active, crazy beautiful people.

Joining in with Jodi and the 52 project.

49/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.

49/52 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA: : Poppy; making christmas gifts
: : Fox; writing, writing, writing.  A card for my birthday.  You took the initiative, you did it all yourself and were deservedly proud of your efforts, as am I! I will keep it forever!
: : Gil; enjoying Fox’s end of year concert.  Loving the music, the dancing and the colour.  Oh boy I love your eyelashes!

Joining in with Jodi and the 52 project.

sleep

mostly gil OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe little one isn’t much of a sleeper.  Can’t say I’m surprised his brother didn’t sleep well, neither did his big sister.  For many people when their baby turns 8 or 9 months things start to smooth out.  For me the opposite is true, I am fatigued.  I’ve not sleep well in well over 12 months and the cumulative effects are hurting.

I am not complaining in a ‘woe is me’ way.  I know that I am fortunate beyond measure being able to carry, birth and nurture three babies.

I wish Mum were here, this is the kind of time I’d call and say ‘Stock the fridge were coming to stay’ or ‘HELP! come down I need to Sleep!’.  Given I can’t do that I have turned to coffee to get through the day… and sugar, oh I need sugar right now…now!