“Imagine that your partner has just bought home a new lover and announced that you are all going to live together. It would be fun! You will be best friends! After hearing that your partner loves you and his new lover equally, you are asked to share all your things with this intruder. It also turns out you won’t be getting as much attention as you used…..”
Toddler Tactics, Pinky McKay
I’ve been really conscious of being there as much as possible for Fox and Poppy, before baby Gil arrived and now that he is here. Poppy has always said she wanted a girl; Fox a boy. I thought that one of them might be a little put out when they learned of the gender, so I planned that we wouldn’t tell the kids the gender of the baby, that we would bring them to the hospital to meet our bundle and then the big kids could see the new being, kiss them, cuddle them, hold them, and only then would we unwrap the baby and to see if it were a boy or a girl. It seemed to be a good idea, Poppy did show initial signs of disappointment when we unwrapped Gil and she learnt he was a boy, but she had cuddled him and kissed him and the disappointment seemed short-lived.
Poppy has commented that she wanted Gil to be a girl, and “….could we have another girl Mama?” She is doing well, she is besotted with Gil, loves to touch and kiss him at every possible opportunity, she has told me she wants to share her toys will Gil. But she is also a little more teary and stroppy this week. I am trying my darndest to craft with she and Fox as much as possible, to read to her when I’m feeding Gil, and to say yes to her as much as I can. For Poppy the family dynamic is just not the same and it never will be again. I hope beyond hope that I serve Poppy and Fox’s needs in this early transition to being a family of five.