march, a retrospective

March 2014 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Gil baby I love you dearly, please, please, please could you sleep!  I am still up twice a night my dear little boy and then at 5am he’s up for the day.  It’s a killer I tell you.  Lack of sleep makes life grey.  I am less resilient, less excited, less motivated and get grumpy more quickly.  And while I feel like I am swimming in fog this little boy is happy all day.

Thank God Mark is an active parent, if Fox or Poppy wake in the night he will go to them.  Generally it takes a kick or a shove under the covers from me, how does he sleep through their calls I have no idea…..I wish I knew.

My absence from this little space is due to lack of sleep.  I want to keep a record of these days, with my small people, but I’m tired, really tired deep fatigue.   All I want to do in the evenings, once the kids are in bed; after the toys are collected off the floor…or not…after the clothes are folded or not….after the kitchen is clean….or not.  All I want to do is sit still, watch tv, and not think of anything. Doing a little crochet it is meditative, then I want to fall into bed and sleep for days and days.

48/52

48/52 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

: : Poppy I think he would look at you all day long, you love him to bits.
: : Gil developmentally you are deconstructing EVERYTHING.  Two more teeth this week brings the total to four.  Sleepless nights, hardly any day sleep as you are bumped about between school/preschool drop off  and pick up yet you are a happy little soul, so much like your brother and sister at the same age.
: : Fox another merit award at assembly, for your improved efforts in hand writing. You were so chuffed with yourself, as you should be.

Joining in with Jodi and the 52 project.

happy birthday to my mum

Happy Birthday Mum OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Happy Birthday Mum.  It would be your 63rd, it would be small, probably just you and Graham, I might have come home maybe with Gil, maybe Jess too.  I might have baked, you would definitely have cooked something delicious.  There would definitely be hugs, definitely close sitting on the lounge snuggled together, there would definitely be honest genuine conversation about life, children, relationships,there would be laughing, and closeness.

Today there was croissants.  A tradition I started after you died, normally on that anniversary.  Nancy joined us for croissants, she is one wise women from the sisterhood, she is special.

The kids and I didn’t bake today, as I like to do on your birthday, it just didn’t happen but there were candles at dinner, candles in our fritters. The kids sung Happy Birthday, with gusto.  I love you and miss you.

 

dante

dear danteDante lived next door to Fox, they were born six weeks apart.

last week Fox found a blank postcard, he went to the table while I was in the kitchen he started to ask, how to do you spell….?  Many of words he sounded out himself with just a little help.

It was lovely he initiated it all himself.

for the record…..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA8 months yesterday,two weeks ago he started crawling and has mastered it quickly (we have carpet which I am sure helps). He is fast and has even managed to get out the front door, which will now remain firmly shut!

This week his newest thing is to pull himself up; in the bath, on the leg of his highchair, on the lounge, my legs, bookshelf…you name it.

He is; happy, darn cute, not sleeping much, chubby, has had eczema for the last four weeks, prefers fruit to vegetables, loves people, has no teeth, and is utterly delicious.

crawling

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA crawling7 and a half months and crawling.  He’s been on his knees rocking back and forward, like he was getting ready for something.  On Sunday we saw him take his first few real crawls, Poppy and Fox squealed with delight.

Fox “Get the camera!  Get the camera Gil’s crawling!!!”  Fox was as chuffed with Gil’s milestone as Mark and I.   He is precious that Fox boy of ours, his genuine joy in the achievements of others is such a lovely quality.

Poppy still can’t keep her hands off Gil, she wants to touch him ALL THE TIME. Especially on the face, really ALL THE TIME, I have started to ask her to touch him on the back or the tummy cause I feel she is smothering poor Gil.  I guess I should back off Gil will tell her, in his own way, when or if he has had enough…..ummm??

41/52

41/5241/5241/52 “A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

: : Fox.  My dear darling six year old boy.  It’s easy for me to tell you I love you, it’s easy to reassure you that you are wonderful when your sad or feeling hurt as you were this week.  Above all else I want you to know that I love you regardless of what you do, my darling you are a good person, a wonderful person.  I love you and I always, always will.
: : Poppy, I watched you writhe in extreme pain this week.  I’ve never seen a child in pain like that before it was terrible for you and horrible to witness.  You are well again now, thank goodness.
: : Gil boy, you too were sad and out of sorts this week, sick with a cold and cough.

There has just been too much on in our little lives over the past six weeks and it is affecting all of us.  Daddo and I need to say ‘No’ to more things, for the benefit of each of you and for our family.

Joining in with Jodi and the 52 project.

chocolate eclairs

friends OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

A visit to a school friend, a catch up with her little boys on her farm.  A lovely day, sunny and warm, home-made; pasta, chocolate eclairs, cups of tea, easy & honest conversation.  I wish there were more days like this with Emma and with other friends.

I wish there was more time to catch up with other friends over cups of tea that weekend, it was just so lovely to see so many school friends at our 20…..yes ’20’ year school reunion.

40/52

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA 40/52“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

: : Gil you woke every hour over night while we were away in country NSW.  It was a great trip just you and I and lots of long-term special friends, but lets not go away again for a long, long, long time.
: : Fox you’ve been getting into chess lately.
: : Poppy.  Me “Poppy what do you want on your sandwich? “Poppy “Peanut-tuna-butter”.  Fortunately you were happy to eat just peanut butter.

Joining in with Jodi and the 52 project.