march, a retrospective

March 2014 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Gil baby I love you dearly, please, please, please could you sleep!  I am still up twice a night my dear little boy and then at 5am he’s up for the day.  It’s a killer I tell you.  Lack of sleep makes life grey.  I am less resilient, less excited, less motivated and get grumpy more quickly.  And while I feel like I am swimming in fog this little boy is happy all day.

Thank God Mark is an active parent, if Fox or Poppy wake in the night he will go to them.  Generally it takes a kick or a shove under the covers from me, how does he sleep through their calls I have no idea…..I wish I knew.

My absence from this little space is due to lack of sleep.  I want to keep a record of these days, with my small people, but I’m tired, really tired deep fatigue.   All I want to do in the evenings, once the kids are in bed; after the toys are collected off the floor…or not…after the clothes are folded or not….after the kitchen is clean….or not.  All I want to do is sit still, watch tv, and not think of anything. Doing a little crochet it is meditative, then I want to fall into bed and sleep for days and days.

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A little bit of February

Feburary OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAFebruary OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA: : playing
: : new school shoes for a new year
: : a pre school for Poppy
: : tired baby
: : birthday baking – a four year old
: : a visit to hospital in the wee hours – the morning of the above mentioned birthday
: : farewelling friends with a nature walk
: : precious little viking boy – deep love to you Eli
: : a toddler (first steps just before 10 months of age, really walking at 11 months)
: : spot of craft
: : rain
: : toddler toes
: : more rain
: : water baby, loving even more rain

 

 

five babies

Five This post has been in my waiting in as a draft to be posted since late last year, it was a conversation Poppy and I shared during our walk to pick Fox up from school.

Poppy “what is it called when you have two babies in your tummy?”
Me “twins..and do you know what it is called when you have three babies at the same time?”
Poppy “No”
Me “triplets.. .And what if you have four babies?..(slience)…..Quadruplets”
Poppy  “And if you have five it’s called complicated”
Me (laughing) “yes that is exactly what five is!”

quietness

The quietness has been so for a number of reasons, fatigue, feeling stagnant, unhappy living arrangement, a busy end of year, a busy beginning of year, a baby who has never, NEVER slept through the night, preferring to wake twice a night and to start the day around 5.00am…..and just stuff.

A few things had to go and this blog was one.  I have been writing posts in my mind, noting little quotes said by small people.  I had never expected I’d be so quiet for so long.   That is just where life was at.

I had thought about going back for a bit of recap but…..perhaps in photographs…. some of our school holiday doings in JanuaryJanuary happenings OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA JanuaryOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

december


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It’s easy to identify my highlight for 2013 welcoming our beautiful Gil into our family.  It was however also a hard year. The toughest element for me is that the uncertainty about home (and all that it embodies) remains.  We continue to live in this little dark rental, which feels smaller and darker by the day, it isn’t kid friendly nor baby friendly.  And the steps to finding a new home have been slowed and interrupted by other factors, while the market has kept climbing.

December was a tough month.  My birthday came and went uneventfully, not even a cake.  Christmas loomed and I felt like I was running to keep up with the end of the first year of school and three-year old preschool.  There were farewell’s, christmas parties, concerts, more parties.  Somewhere in the midst of the mayhem I forgot about the party food for the last day at Poppy’s preschool, and felt like a failure, irrational I know, probably the culmination of a tough couple of weeks.

December did see lots of creativity by the small people, Christmas tree ornaments made by their own hands – plaster of paris in Christmas chocolate moulds, add a little ribbon before the plaster sets and paint it up.  We made cookies in a jar, (dry ingredients only with instructions for adding the wet ingredients and baking) they received a great deal of praise, so we may just make it again next year.

Fox was beautiful and generous making gifts and gifting some of his own special belongings for his class mates and family members and writing lovely notes to the recipients.  He got so much joy in the making and in thinking of others, such a beautiful quality.

I did manage in December to get a little time to myself and spoilt myself with a pedicure a little bit of bright happiness.  Painted nails have been a rarity in our home, so much so Poppy tried to wipe off the paint and wipe it onto her own toes.   A little bottle of pink polish, and sparkle polish then made its way into her christmas stocking.  Speaking of Christmas and Poppy she once again banned Santa from entering the house, he was welcome to bring gifts but “only the reindeer can bring the presents inside”.

Christmas day was lovely, invited to join my Stepbrother’s family his gorgeous wife Sue cooked and catered beautifully.  It was such a treat to have it all cared for by others and spending the day in easy company, it made for a relaxed family christmas.

It wasn’t until after christmas that I found time for gingerbread making this year – the kids decorated and ate little houses inspired by Tahnee with their Canberra cousins.

46/52

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“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

: : Poppy outside water play
: : Gil, standing and watching you love the big kids and they adore you.
: : Fox, a friend gave you a page of stick on earrings, you insisted everyone (except Gil) have a pair.  You’re so often generous and thoughtful.

Joining in with Jodi and the 52 project.

lots on of late

.. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA lately... I’ve not been in this space much of late, and really have only stopped in for the 52 project.  There has been SO much happening in this little house, in this little family, in our corner of the world.

Literally day after we arrived home from our two-week unexpected trip to China Mark’s brother and his family of five came to stay with us for a week.  To be honest the day we arrived home I was thinking ‘How am I possibly going to manage my exhaustion and FIVE extra people in our space?”  It was great to have them, a rare and very special visit.  Fox turned 6 when they were here and I hurriedly organised a party, extended family and our Canberra family.  They left we had a week to get back into our grove (which didn’t happen) before I went away to my 20, yes 20 year school reunion.  It had been booked in over a year in advance and I didn’t want to miss it.

It was with a sad heart that I flew home with a new baby, home without my Mum.  I had a lovely time with my stepfather and a GREAT time at my school reunion.

As if that wasn’t enough, my Dad who lives in Africa and visits once a year was due to arrive in Canberra the day I flew back from the reunion.  A week later Dad left, the next week Mark who was on 11 weeks paternity leave went back to work….agrrgghh!

I lost my funk, it was WAY too much, WAY too much.  And so there has been a lot of quiet time here.  A spot of paper making, card making, Christmas decoration making, painting, water play, the small things that are good for us.

There is a big pile of sewing waiting for me to get too.  Items and ideas that I have half started on, I just don’t have my grove on….I’m just tired.

45/52

45/52 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

: : Fox eating loquats straight from the tree.
: : Poppy, packing the car following swimming.  I was so excited to watch you swim this week.  You and Fox seem to have made great leaps in your swimming ability lately.
: : Gil, Poppy told me she could see your tooth coming through.  I said “Oh that’s just some apple”…but I have since apologised to Poppy.  She was right, it wasn’t apple but your first tooth cutting through (8 months and one week).

Joining in with Jodi and the 52 project.